howdy fucking doody

i hate my life.

i hate myself

i hate the way i look

i hate the way i act

i hate the way i say stupid things just so people aknowledge me

i hate my room

i hate my kitchen

i hate my hair

i hate the way i take my lifes problems and vent everything on to other people

my life has no purpose, no fufillment, no joy. every waking moment is a reminder about how pathetic i am. and before certain people say this, it isn't the game or the fact that i couldn't do the game. and don't say "its just a game" because although decreasing the games meaning in the grand sceme of things makes me feel evn worse because i cant even do that. the game just tipped my stress over the edge. the game is a small piece in the jigsaw that is my problems.

i have no love for what i do. physics, i can do it so i do. job, never could even get an interview. girl, well my lovely personality wins everyone of them over every fucking time. what do i do that makes me so special? let me tell you; i take the piss out of people for the slightest thing, i play meaninless games, i eat, drink, sleep and that is it. it is meaningless, shallow and pathetic.

i have no aptitide for anything other than maths/physicsy stuff. and i mean anything; i am rubbish at music, singing, sports,im average at best on video games, art, dance,talking to people, i can't even type four words on a keyboard without making stupid spelling errors, i go ballistic whenever i fail at a video game, i act like a cunt to people who are supposed to be my friends. honest to whatever equates to god i dont know why they even assiciate with me. i am a stupid fat ugly pathetic meaningless lonely sad bastard.

you want to know how bad. i locked myself in my room and tied a rope round my neck and said i wouldn't take it off untill i could think of a good reason to. after two whole minutes you know what i came up with? nothing, but i was too much of a fucking coward to go through with it.

the end.