i wish i knew what to do.

the title says it all, one the one side i want to go for it and ask and see where it leads. however on the other side if i do it jeperdise our friendship and i dont know if she feels the same way. i am in quite a pickle because these feelings are so stong and ive never felt anything like this before. and it hurts that im not with her.

meh..

well folks, hope you had a happy halloween. then it'll have been better than mine, which started off well but then suddenly something happens and next thing you know your as depressed as you get and you don't know what to do next. it wasn't the greatest day of my life thats for sure, but hopefully i can move on, get over it and try to cheer myself up. i'm ok as long as im around someone but when alone or in my owwn head for too long i am just fundamentally unhappy with myself, i wish it could all be avoided from here on in. however it doesn't work that way. i'm drawn to the cause in a way i can't describe and my outer shell keeps all signs of unhappyness at bay until i'm alone again.

damn

well, it may aswell be official, there is no chance. it was over before it could begin...

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down with america!

alrighty mongrals and mongrettes, blog time. today i ahve been programming ( and you say i dont know how to have fun.) i am here today though to complain abouyt the big fat counrty known as america! i play xbox360 online and so and subjected to the fat stupid obnoxious gamer american (one of the worst kind) whilst playing gears of war 2 online i am constantly wishing for a european server to restrict me to only playing people in the uk or europe (at least an obnoxious italian sounds cool.) anyway the pointof this is that whilst not being very good att he game they try and compensate by loudly goading the game controlled enimies( which can't hear them) over celibrating simple kills and getting in my way when im actually tryign to do somethign that requires some skill on my part. what i want is a way to take away agming internet form americans because they abuse the privilage and make me regret going online in the first place. i know its not the companies fault because we all know: 'gaming experience may differ online' (meaning: some obnoxious american is gonna swear down your earhole when your child is tryign to play marvel ultimate alliance online, or someone is gonna bother you and wehen you say something they harras you for being english. this may seem like an attack on america, i know there are annoying people all over the world but it seems that the largest congregation of these annoying bastards in the good old USo'A.

hey guys, read this.

hey there readers, yes i know there are very few of you out there. whats going on guys. im just rambling here so this isnt gonna have much of a story to it m but feel free to ask me stuff that i cananswer is subsiquent blogs. im looking for material here so feel free to contribute.

now then my little chickaries

well i told you this was gonna get more regular. today our electric metre ran out and we went to top it up. the first place was shut, so i reccomended the other cornershop i knew. they didnt do it but they directed us to another...the machine was broke and once again off we go to the next reccomended place, he didnt do it, and again off we go then another their machine was broke finnaly we found a londis store that did. we almost had the feeling they wer all in it together taking the piss out of us and the last guy didnt get the call quick enough to be in on it.
well thats all for now cya